I knew there'd be a hitch

How right I was to expect complications with the school test! I have been congratulating myself ever since, because it means I was not in the slightest bit discouraged or disappointed to be told that, although Titus is more than ready to go to school, I could not yet be furnished with the all-important document that will allow me to sign him up.

You see, we were a bit naughty and actually spent the last three years abroad - it doesn't matter where, only that it wasn't Germany - and this meant that Titus did not get to have the special, German development checks. The lady school tester pointed out that this was rather remiss of me. I like it when official people do that, for at the same time as stroking their ego, they are reminding me that I am not perfect and ensuring that I don't get above myself. Which is kind of doing me a favour, if you choose to look at it that way - I usually do, or I'd be permanently insulted.

So. After telling me what I already knew, i.e. that my son is a perfectly normal, alert and articulate boy, she instructed us to go and have a full medical, which we shall do the week after next. Then, and only then, will Titus be deemed suitable for school intake.

Slightly different tack to finish off with. I had thought that I was rid of my inhibitions and embarrassment about doing silly things in public. But in NYC at the weekend, I realised that a few boundaries still exist. My mother wanted to photograph me with the Statue of Liberty behind me, in the distance. That part was ok. But then she asked me to raise my arm in imitation of Lady Liberty and gaze into the middle-distance contemplatively. I have to admit that I had a problem with this. In the end, however, I relented, on the condition that she set the shot up first (for even though she has a digital camera, she spends as much time getting ready to take a photo as if she had one of those old ones on legs, with a black cloth for the photographer to hide under). That meant I only had to strike the pose for five seconds max. Anything to please my ma.