Vacuum Cleaners, Wind and Rhubarb

The vacuum cleaner has many uses. I caught Herr NN cleaning his lawn with it this morning. Apparently Frau NN didn't really approve. He'd only been at it a couple of minutes when the vacuum cleaner, which he'd plugged in somewhere in the house, was tugged slowly by an invisible force back into the warmth. Not deterred and despite his advanced years, he got down on hands and knees and began picking out the offending particles with his fingers. This little scene reminded me of the Roger Hargreaves book Mr Fussy, who used to cut his lawn with nail scissors. But had Mr Fussy lived next door to the NNs, he'd most definitely have been demoted.

Otherwise today has been rather uneventful. I hope it stays that way. We are enjoying a burst of unseasonal warm weather, thanks to the alpine wind, the Föhn (which translates as 'hairdryer', but maybe the wind got there first when the name was handed out, rather than the other way round). My neighbour (the one with the two repressed dogs) came over to warn me that this sudden change can cause headaches. She also offered me some of her rhubarb and I had another mini-make-a-fool-of-myself moment. I asked her if it could go in the deep-freeze. She replied, in theory yes, but the plants do tend to grow better if you put them in the soil. And then handed me a grubby-looking clump of roots. Ah, I said. Thanks very much. I felt the familiar blush creeping over my face and laughed my much-practised, self-deprecating English laugh and thought to myself, one day, just one day, I will understand everything that is said to me, all of the time.