Two countries separated by a common language

That's England and America in the words of Bernard Shaw, as I am sure most of you know, being one of his most-used quotes. I can see why, for it is absolutely true.  Only the other day I decided to email an American acquaintance, who I'd met at my brother's wedding in NYC.  I wrote a few niceties and generally enquired after his well-being.  An enthusiastic reply bounced back.  Amongst other things, how pleased he was that I'd 'chatted him up' at the party. ??????  Steady on old bean, I thought, I rather think you've misread the signals.  Before I could finish my indignant internal diatribe another mail pinged up.  Ah, it said.  Your bro informs me that 'chatting up' has other connotations in Great Britain.  Phew!  He hadn't taken me for an old flirt after all.

Then there is the age-old but still occurring confusion with pants, trousers and underwear.  I'll never forget the seven-year-old Gaia's look of horror when our au pair, fresh from Texas, complimented her on having really pretty pants.  Or the children would be told 'mind your mother', as if I were lying in the middle of their pathway, when actually they were supposed to LISTEN to what I said.  Oh, how we laughed.  American friends talk about fixing their hair when it isn't broken, or they run to the store in their car, or they see a whole bunch of rain coming on the horizon.  I love it.

You don't expect Brits over a certain age to use Americanisms, though.  So when, whilst taking a break at an English service station a couple of years back, a little old lady approached me and said, you look very smart, I replied, well thank you madam.  I feared she might be senile, as I had either snot or vomit, or both, on my jeans and was looking decidedly travel-worn.  Then she said, could you help me with my mobile phone? Ha!  She meant intelligent....  of course.

As an English teacher I am well-used to differentiating between the US and British varieties of our fair tongue.  But it still amuses me when I hear an American woman deciding what to wear for a party.  Often she'll say, oh, I think I'm just going to wear pants.  And I think, woohoo - you go girl!!!!