Oh my. Another week has flown by since I last penned a few lines for cyberspace. I wanted to write last Monday, when I found myself - I hate to admit it but it's true - stalking a woman at Aldi. I think I told you last time I was off there in thick fog. And there I stood, staring at the same old, same old products, heaving my habitual sigh and starting, as one must, at the coffee*. Then I heard a voice. It was speaking German, but I detected a nuance. It just didn't sound... German. English, or American perhaps (even that would do). Confusingly, the kid in the trolley was speaking, actually screaming, German, and very authentically too. But the way Mum said 'ssshhhh' identified her as an English speaker - I can't quite explain why. I felt curiously drawn to this stranger. I had no wish to befriend her - cripes, she had a toddler and a baby with her, and I've put those days firmly and happily behind me - it was simply her foreignness and the air of being slightly lost that I could so easily identify with. Not being a particularly outgoing person, there was no way I was going to approach her. What would I say? 'Hi, I believe we both speak the same language!' Forget it. I made do with following her, in a very discreet way, round the shop, listening to her remonstrate with her very unruly boy (another thing we had in common) and chatting to various people she bumped into. She did have, however, an annoying throat-clearing habit, and it was this that made me decide she was American. Sorry, readers from across the pond, but only allergy-sufferers cough in that unique way. I also observed that she had extremely small feet, and big-footed people like me always feel slightly threatened by this. Enough said. I saw her last packing her kids and groceries into an SUV - another clue - whilst I was being approached by a man with several large dents in his forehead. I forgot the stressed mother in an instant as I realised that the guy was talking to me. Turns out he was commenting on the amount of food I had bought (that old chestnut) and, to boot, was completely loopy. He must have shaken off his carer on the main road. I was glad to get home, to be honest.
*I've tried going round the other way, but it doesn't render the experience any easier or more interesting.
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