Hello Sailor

The dreaded Kinderfasching (children's carnival party) is fast approaching.  Some of you may remember my persona from last year, i.e. a female pirate.  If you don't, and even if you do, let me recap: I was dithering - something I do extremely well - for weeks as to what to wear.  At the last minute I snapped up a red and black ensemble complete with eye-patch at my beloved Penny-Markt (I should get commission from that place, although I am still annoyed that they didn't sell spiced biscuit-scented toilet paper last Christmas).  I threw myself into the character heart and soul, having to compensate for the fact that I can't say 'me hearties' and 'pieces of eight' in German by being particularly pirate-like in my behaviour.  Well, within reason, anyway.  I did all the dances and all the moves and encouraged timid children to join in and refereed fights over prizes and stopped people beating each other up when they lost a game.  At home, later, Titus confided to me that 'I think some of the children were scared of you, Mummy'.  Good or bad?  I probably alienated myself from multiple parents within those few short hours.  So this year (having been roped in again when I wasn't looking) I am determined NOT to go as a pirate.  It is easy to find costumes in Germany, but the problem is that many of the women's ones are sexy and short-skirted and I dare say that would not be appropriate for a family function.  Then I could make my own costume, but I have neither the time nor the inclination, so I have just ordered a sailor outfit and am praying it will arrive by Saturday.  Note that I am sticking to the nautical theme.  Quite a few costumes appealed to me, but I feared they might be offensive, e.g. a bavarian maid, or a cow, or a farmer, or a nun.  Disregarding the cow, there are likely to be several real examples of these at the party, and they surely wouldn't appreciate the Brit capering around in a caricature of their valued profession. So a sailor I shall be, and we shall see which children can summon up the courage to go on deck with me and do the hokey-cokey.