Gaia is doing a week's work experience in a midwifery practice and came home today completely traumatised. The assembly already seated at the lunch table, namely Hedda, Titus and I, was agog. What could have happened? I wasn't expecting anything that exciting, as the programme today involved post-natal gymnastics. It turned out that the midwife - Gaia's mentor - asked all the new mummies to repeat after her: "LIK-LAK-LOK" - sounds innocuous enough, but on LIK they were to squeeze their front bottom muscles together, LAK the back ones, and on LOK the buttocks, as tight as they could. Poor Gaia, as yet totally unscathed by the explicit terminology and indignity of childbirth. I rushed to console her but in my eagerness launched into a mini-lecture on the importance of a strong pelvic floor. She left her lunch untouched.
When she had recovered a little, I asked her what she thought of the noble profession. Apparently the midwife told her that she would do everything she could to put her off the idea, and that midwifery is worse paid than hairdressing. If we didn't have the baby swimming sessions, we wouldn't even be able to keep our heads above water, she griped. Let's hope the babies do tomorrow though, as Gaia is on duty and rather concerned about the responsibility of being on hand at the local swimming pool where the latest additions to the local population will be introduced to the delights of floundering around in chlorine with a little water added. Not to mention a good sprinkling of urine and the odd band-aid.
When she had recovered a little, I asked her what she thought of the noble profession. Apparently the midwife told her that she would do everything she could to put her off the idea, and that midwifery is worse paid than hairdressing. If we didn't have the baby swimming sessions, we wouldn't even be able to keep our heads above water, she griped. Let's hope the babies do tomorrow though, as Gaia is on duty and rather concerned about the responsibility of being on hand at the local swimming pool where the latest additions to the local population will be introduced to the delights of floundering around in chlorine with a little water added. Not to mention a good sprinkling of urine and the odd band-aid.
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