Mother knows best - hopefully

That great fount of wisdom and knowledge, in other words my mother, gave me an interesting beauty tip on Saturday. Admittedly, had it been April 1, I'd have laughed knowingly (she's a sucker for practical jokes) and dismissed said tip, but it's January and she was deadly serious. We were chatting away about insomnia and its side effects, namely dark circles under the eyes. Apparently, if my mother and her colleagues in the good old NHS are to be believed, the magic remedy for this is - wait for it - haemorrhoid cream. Yes, really! In Britain it's called Anusol - I can't see the link myself - but I only had suppositories thereof (an unopened packet, I hasten to add), so the only alternative was the Belgian variety (also unopened) lurking in our medicine cabinet, as I would rather boil my head than go to a German chemist and ask for some. And surely they (haemorrhoids) don't differ between European countries? A pile is a pile, at the end of the day? The bottom line is that they itch and bleed and people don't talk about them, unless they are over eighty and are sitting in a doctor's waiting room. Or at a bus stop.

Anyway, I digress. Mother assured me that all the top models swear by this remedy, which is enough for me. I have just applied a light smear under each eye. Apart from a slight tingling (beginning of allergic reaction?) I can't notice anything untoward. But are the dark circles gone? I have only Titus here to ask and he's inherited his father's tactic of only telling me what I want to hear. Perhaps it takes a few days for the 'treatment' to work. Does anyone out there have any experience with this? Am I the only person in the world NOT to have known about this until last weekend? Please feel free to enlighten me.